We subsist in a generation that loves doing things out of order. We have sex, date later, get into a “situationship,” get pregnant, live together and then break up or get married years down the line. Obviously, I’m not speaking for this generation in its entirety but some of us have lost sight of the “old school” approach to relationships and delved right into the haphazard, wonky, unfulfilling “new school” approach. Now, it’s worked for some of you but certainly not for all.

I’m a woman thus I am going to speak on behalf of women. I have done things out of order only to regret it later. I have gifted men wife-like qualities for girlfriend prices. Why is that? Why am I willing to give so much of me to a situation where the energy isn’t truly reciprocated? Why are you willing to do the same?

My fellow ladies, queens, business women, entrepreneurs, mothers and all around extraordinaire‘s, you deserve the best and you typically give your best but sometimes you need to reel it in, step back and take a good look at your relationship.

Are you gifting wife qualities at girlfriend prices, if so, don’t expect that ring anytime soon.

This is my opinion, of course, I’m a blogger for crying out loud, but I believe that a man has no reason to rush and marry you if you’ve already taken on the role of a wife without needing the ring to match. If he wants to marry you, he will do that, but if he wants someone to shack up with, have sex with, procreate with, build a life with etc. without the presence or pressure of marriage, he will do that as well. Are you requiring him to make a lifetime commitment to you or are you content with being a girlfriend, baby mama, friend with benefits etc.? If so, stop reading here and enjoy your lifelong entanglement. However, if you want better from your current significant other, you must require it and stop playing the role of “wifey.” If marriage isn’t important to you, fine but if it is and you feel like it’s about that time, let him know. He’s your boyfriend not your husband thus treat him as such. Be a good girlfriend, support his goals and dreams, go on dates, make him laugh, uplift him, travel with him, pray for him, pray with him but remember the buck should stop there. Don’t lay on that wifely charm until you’ve received and accepted something shiny on that left hand.

Be a good woman but don’t be super woman, just yet.