We can’t continue to normalize dysfunction and then expect positive generational evolution.
It’s not normal to grow up watching your father beat your mother. It’s not normal to holler before you listen. Getting cheated on repeatedly is not normal. Lighting candles because the lights got cut off isn’t normal. Turning the stove on to heat up the apartment isn’t normal. Staying in toxic relationships out of a fear of being alone isn’t normal. Getting high to balance your lows isn’t normal nor is it truly effective. It’s not normal to lack healthy outlets of expression. None of it is normal.
When we normalize dysfunction, we are essentially stating, “I love how toxic the air is in here.” You’re consciously and subconsciously telling yourself that the toxic facets and people in your life are more than welcome and that should not be the case. Stop opening the door for negativity, for drama, for unhealthy relationships and for soul sucking turmoil all the while hoping to shift your life’s current dynamics. How does this all relate to breaking generational curses? Hold tight, I’m getting there.
Any evolution or devolution starts with you. You can’t break generational curses without first acknowledging that you are a victim of your lineages flawed and defective way of handling life, finances, family issues and relationships.
Key #1: Identify the Problem, be the solution.
Generational curses are like an addiction and the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting that you have a problem. Admit that you would rather fight people than talk it out. Admit that you feel like you don’t know how to love properly because you never witnessed a healthy, loving, selfless relationship. Admit that your afraid of commitment. Admit that your father walking out on you when you were five-years-old still hurts you to this day. Admit that your mother showing favoritism to your older brother makes you feel less than. Admit that you need a stronger spiritual foundation to conquer these generational demons. No matter what you and your family are battling, the first step to breaking those generational curses is admitting that there’s a war.
One more time for those in the back.
No matter what you and your family are battling, the first step to breaking those generational curses is admitting that there’s a war.
If your apart of a “shove-it-down-family,” a family that doesn’t talk about their issues but instead just shoves them down for those issues to just later in time be regurgitated in different arguments and such, you need to be the encourager of open dialogue. It’s not healthy to keep things bottled up inside, its disastrous.
It’s hard to be the solution when you feel like your not the one who started the problem in the first place but every generation before you felt that same way and that’s why things continue to remain the same. Be that shift. Be that mediator. Be that positive beacon of light in a room full of familial negativity. Be the one to spark those necessary conversations. Be that change. Merely acknowledging the dysfunction without setting up an action plan to end that dysfunction will only lead to the continuance of that dysfunction. It all starts with you.
Key # 2: Pray about it more than you whine about it.
Be intentional in your prayers and be mindful of your reckless tongue. You can’t just gossip with other family members about the dysfunction present in your family because that’s not beneficial. You can’t merely complain about your familial issues, you have to pray it out and then use that guidance as the Google maps to get you through the journey of abolishing those generational curses.
For example, let’s say you want to end generational poverty. You want to go from project living to mansion realities. Okay, that’s possible but don’t just pray for money because creating generational wealth is deeper than money, it’s about the understanding of money, it’s about learning how to properly invest money and learning how to make money grow, not merely asking God to bless you with a high paying job, that won’t end generational poverty. Furthermore, poverty is more a state of the mind than a neighborhood location. You could hit the lottery for a million dollars but if your mind is still in poverty, you’ll blow it and be right back at square one. You can’t break generational curses alone, you’ll need help from the higher up, seek that help, embrace it and use it as fuel.
Key # 3: Forgive.
If your not willing to forgive those that have hurt you or wronged you or lied to you, you can forget about breaking generational curses. I personally struggle with forgiveness. It’s hard for me to forgive intentional hurt. When someone knowingly hurts me I usually just sever all ties with that person but family doesn’t work that way. To move forward you must stop placing band-aids over bullet wounds.
One more time for those in the back.
To move forward you must stop 🛑 placing band-aids over bullet wounds.
In other words, speak on your pain or discomfort shortly after it occurs not months, week, years or decades later. Don’t bring up your pain from ’98 in 2020 and believe that you’ll receive a quick resolution – no. Pray for a forgiving spirit, practice forgiveness, be the solution. Be the living embodiment of the change you want to see.
Breaking generational curses seems impossible at the beginning but overtime it becomes easier and as that positive transition forms you are bulldozing over years of dysfunction, conflict, pain, anger and deception. Just because you were born into dysfunction doesn’t mean you have to remain there. Just because you were born into poverty doesn’t mean that you can’t live and die in a mansion lifestyle. Just because your mom was a teenage mother, it doesn’t mean that you have to be a teenage mother. Break the chains, be the solution.
If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.