Today, I tweeted the following:
I was frustrated by a series of events that weren’t going as I had originally anticipated. I became snappy, cheeky, impertinent, all because I wasn’t getting my way. It amazes me how grown we all believe we are, yet we make puerile excuses for our adult temper-tantrums.
Robert Greene states in The 48 Laws of Power, “The most important of these skills, and power’s crucial foundation, is the ability to master your emotions. An emotional response to a situation is the single greatest barrier to power, a mistake that will cost you a lot more than any temporary satisfaction you might gain by expressing your feelings. Emotions cloud reason, and if you cannot see the situation clearly, you cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control. Anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, for it clouds your vision the most.”(Greene, 20)
Becoming angry takes a split, thoughtless second. Before I allowed myself to explode I prayed for God to remove the anger and slowly but surely he did. Once I calmed down I realized how I could’ve let this aimless moment ruin my entire day but I turned it around. Funny enough, I was angry about the series of events that led up to a moment of discomfort I had to endure due to my own negligence thus I wasn’t truly irritated with the people that stood before me but by the series of events that led up to me having to stand before them. In acknowledging that my anger was misplaced, it forced me to change my attitude.
When you find yourself becoming angry, pause, breathe, analyze the situation and determine if anger is the necessary emotion. Anger is a natural emotion, to an extent. I’m not telling you to never get angry, that’s not realistic, but work on making anger your last emotional resort, instead of the first and overtime you’ll develop such a peace within you that anger will almost never be your emotional response. Furthermore, be cognizant of where that anger truly stemmed from. Be wise and grown enough to admit when your current anger is a trickle down effect from previous moments of discontentment. You can’t simply lash out on whoever or whatever is available as a means to cope with your fury. Find healthy releases, workout, box, paint, write, talk to a therapist, read, listen to music etc.
Just because your anger is misplaced doesn’t mean that you should find a home for it within you.
So, what should you do with misplaced anger – throw it out. What do you accomplish by being angry – nothing. You can accomplish much more by being kind, happy, joyful and emotionally in control. Give yourself time to develop this level of emotional stability and self-restraint but know that without practice you’ll never truly master your emotions. Don’t take that risk.