Don’t Be Too Available

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Your time should be valuable; it should be used and managed properly, not haphazardly. Being too available can spread you a bit too thin, can shift your focus and hinder your personal development. How? For the sake of this article, I am going to touch on the need to be less available for potential or current significant others. Let’s break it up into stages.

The Dating Stage

During the dating stage, be available but not overly available. Don’t jump at every opportunity to hang out or go on dates. Sometimes, even if you have nothing planned, say that your busy. The “chase” is not dead it just needs a little bait. It doesn’t mean ignore the person your dating but don’t hang on to their every desire and don’t live your life and extracurricular activities around them. Date in a casual sense not in a smothering sense and pick up speed over time. When you like a person, you naturally want to spend time with them but trust me, if they like you with that same energy then rescheduling a date or two won’t ruin the budding relationship. Furthermore, it’s still your main priority to put you first, don’t forget that in the midst of potential love.

The Relationship Stage

This is a trickier one because the dynamics and set up of your relationship determines how available you should or shouldn’t be. Some of you may live with your boyfriend or girlfriend and in that case still take time for yourself, a healthy amount of time. I personally don’t advise moving in together until your married or at least engaged but that’s just my two cents. In the event that you live in separate homes, as you should, create a schedule and on occasions be spontaneous. I’m in my late 20’s thus I’m speaking from that age perspective. This is the age to learn new things, grow your business and investments etc. thus these aren’t merely the years for partying and aimless dating. Don’t lose sight of your personal, financial, career or spiritual goals because your overly intertwined with your significant other. Again, your time is valuable, keep saying that to yourself until you believe it.

The Engagement and Marriage Stage

I only like to speak on what I’ve experienced thus the buck stops here. *shrugs*


In essence, don’t be too selfless with a person that isn’t your life partner. Being too available or too eager can give off the wrong vibe, at times. Get a planner. Own your time and don’t be too available for people. It’s similar to playing hard to get but in this case, your not playing. You can’t get your time back, use it wisely and be careful with it.


If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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