Stop Dating Fixer-Uppers

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Dating is a rather loose term for this generation but one that still exists nonetheless. Dating shouldn’t be like a school project or a thesis paper. In theory, I believe people should date people they feel compatible with from all imperative aspects but they shouldn’t date people that they want to “fix.” 

You can have an addiction to being needed and dating fixer-uppers is nothing but a manifestation of that dependency. 

Let me explain. When I was a teenager, I went through my hood-dude phase. I liked drug dealers, bad boys and troublemakers. I was the complete opposite of them thus their risky, dangerous and spicy lifestyle enticed me, but in them I also seen someone who needed to be fixed. I wanted to turn drug dealing boyfriends into legitimate business aficionados. I wanted them to fall out of love with the streets and in love with a legal and profitable enterprise, but very rarely was I effective in my efforts. A love for the “hood” and the drug game can be just as addictive as heroin. They try to leave it alone but instinctually find their way back and you find yourself alone or putting money on their books. It’s not healthy, furthermore, the foundation of the relationship was built on a self-serving intention instead of a mutual one. 

One more time for those in the back.

The foundation of the relationship was built on a self-serving intention instead of a mutual one. 

I’m sure many of you can relate to the hood-dude phase but once they start going to jail and leaving you alone all the time it becomes rather pointless and you realize that you failed in “fixing” them. Stop dating people because you see a fixable flaw in them.

One more time for those in the back.

Stop dating people because you see a fixable flaw in them.

Stop dating people because you see their potential alone. Potential without intention equals a fat sum of zero, nothing, nada. Stop dating people out of a desire to feel needed because eventually you’re going to get tired of being needed. Date people because you have mutual interests, because you find that person attractive, because your inspired by their life outlook etc. but don’t merely entertain them in hopes of reform. 

Now, I’m grown and I’ve outgrown that childish fixer-upper mentality. Now, I’d prefer a person to come to me as a completely independent individual because that’s what I bring to the table. I’ve outgrown the desire to parent my potential significant others. Now, I’m attracted to stability, forward thinking and spiritual ties. I’m not asking for perfection but I’m no longer seeking imperfections either. 


If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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