Stop Letting History Build the Endurance for the Present

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“We’ve got history,” the excuse we freely state as we endure the see-through inadequacies of a relationship we’ve stayed in based on time served. Just because you’ve been with a person off and on for years, doesn’t mean that you should’ve been. We equate the inability to leave a person alone as an indication that they are the “one.” They could be the one but more than likely they’re just the one that keeps walking through the revolving door you’ve put in place. Don’t let the history and time put in force you into a “settlement box,” into a box of consistent disappointment and toxic rebounds amid an insurmountable pile of “what if’s. Stop normalizing dysfunction in your relationships.

One more time for those in the back.

Stop normalizing dysfunction in your relationships.

What does your history with this person look like? If it’s beautiful, selfless and fulfilling, you can stop reading here. However, if you’re history looks bleak, tumultuous and unsettling, please acknowledge that you have not only normalized the dysfunction but you condone it. By welcoming the dysfunction you’re simultaneously stating, “Hey, I’m fine with a rocky, toxic, on and off relationship because that’s just the way we are and will always be.” Relationships don’t have to be war and then peace. 

One more time for those in the back.

Relationships don’t have to be war and then peace

Just because you’ve got history with a person doesn’t mean that you should stay with them or continue to forgive their transgressions. Stop letting the history of the relationship build the endurance for the present circumstances of your relationship. It’s not time wasted if you walk away but indeed, time restored. You can’t get your time back, don’t squander it on penniless relationships. Sometimes we confuse what we believe is good for us with what we’re used to. Just because you’re comfortable with this person and they know your favorite color doesn’t mean that their your person; their just a convenient, well-known option. Don’t let your fear of starting over and your history with a person block your potential new blessings. If it’s a healthy history, keep writing it, if it’s a toxic history – start a new book.


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