Stop Teaching People How to Treat You

Malia Schmalleger’s latest TikTok video struck a nerve for me. She states, “Imagine how much time and energy you would save if you stopped teaching people how to treat you.”

One more time for those in the back.

Imagine how much time and energy you would save if you stopped teaching people how to treat you.

This is not the equivalent of teaching someone how to love you, that’s different. However, teaching someone how to treat you, how to respect you, how to value your time and energy seems rather redundant. If you require respect, good manners, car doors opened, date nights and gifts for no reason, do you really want to teach someone how to be that ideal person for you or would you rather them come to you with respect and thoughtful intentions? For example, you shouldn’t have to tell a man you like dates over Netflix & Chillin’, he’s already not the man for you. He wants a casual fling, you want time put in and courtship. You could attempt to teach him about what you like, you could tell him about your idea of a perfect date but, if he’s not already asking those questions, it’s because he doesn’t want to know the answers.

We ask questions that we want to know the answers to. He doesn’t want to know about your ideal date or how your day went, he just wants to know when you’re coming over to “chill” because that’s his goal: chilling and eventual sex.  Don’t waste six months trying to teach a person how to treat you – reclaim your time.

When you take the time out to try to teach someone how to treat you with respect, you’re already confirming that they lack respect. Think of it this way, if you’re teaching your child the ABC’s, it’s because they don’t already know them. 

Stop teaching grown people the ABC’s of respect and proper consideration in hopes that they will adopt your ideals – they won’t. 

If they don’t bring the right cards to the table – don’t let them play.

You’re letting them play the game when you already know that they don’t possess the proper skills – aht, aht – stop that!


If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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