A wise man once said:

“Fool me one time shame on you
Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you
Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs
Load the chopper, let it rain on you…”

“No Role Modelz”
J. Cole

Why are you always open and available for people that don’t reciprocate that same level of selflessness in regards to you? It’s wisely advised to have your therapist help you answer this question but, I’ll attempt to answer it based off my own personal experiences. If you’re like me, you assume that you know your worth. However, your worth is not determined by your self-care days and materialist possessions or how much you pray about it – it’s in what you allow from yourself and others.

For example, if you’re currently in an on-and-off situationship or relationship, ask yourself this, “Are you a light switch?” No? Okay, so why do you keep letting people turn you off and on? Love yourself enough to limit people’s access to you, especially when they’re abusing it. If a person can walk out of your life without notice and then reappear without notice, assuming that they can just press “play” where they left off and you let them – that’s complete and utter blasphemy.

One more time for those in the back.

If a person can walk out of your life without notice and then reappear without notice, assuming that they can just press “play” where they left off and you let them – that’s complete and utter blasphemy.

But, how many of you have allowed this to happen? You think, “…maybe they were going through something or we have such a special connection.” If it’s so special, how’d it get disconnected and everybody is going through something, so don’t fall for that excuse either! If you let people enter and exit your life as they please, what does that say about you? I’m not here to judge you but, you are worth all the consistency and consideration. Stop letting people treat you like an option, an afterthought a.k.a something-they-could-go-without. You deserve better but, what you allow is what will continue.

You’re in on-and-off again sagas because you figure, “Hey, it’s better than being alone!” Aht! Aht! No, it’s not. Every time you let somebody reenter your life that left freely, with no warning, may I add, you are essentially saying this, “Yes, you can treat me like a 7-Eleven. Yes, I will always be available for you and pick up when you call. No, there will not be any repercussions for your actions and yes, when you pull this disappearing act again – I’ll take you back once more.” All the while, you probably aren’t even truly committed to this person.

How ridiculous does that sound? But even if you have not said this, your actions are reflecting the above statements. This person is giving you a front row seat to Days in their Lives and what started as a rom-com has turned into a horror flick, yet somehow you’re still going along for the ride? Stop it! Don’t allow this behavior in your personal relationships or your professional relationships.

Stop expecting better from people who have already showed you who they are.

It takes balls for people to disappear and reappear believing not only that they’ve done nothing wrong but that their behavior is okay. Show them that it’s not!

You got this!

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