“Beware of Destination Addiction.” – Robert Holden

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“Beware of Destination Addiction – a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”- Robert Holden, Ph.D.

What does happiness look like for you, what does it feel like? What makes you happy? Think about it. What truly makes you happy? Happiness, true happiness anyways, is difficult to achieve especially when you’ve adopted a destination addiction. Happiness is not in the next job or the next relationship or the next car or the next house – it’s within you.

Happiness is you.

I’ve spent my entire life searching for this thing they call “happiness.” I thought it rested in my family, in my good memories, in my finances, in my relationships but, if I’m not happy inside, my outside world will inevitably crumble. I just recently realized how personal of a journey true happiness is. Do you know how to make yourself happy? If not, that’s where you need to start. Self-discovery is a life long journey. Your stuck with you thus, you mid as well get to know yourself.

Your next relationship, won’t make you happy.

Your next pay, increase won’t make you happy.

Your next therapy session, won’t make you happy.

You have to delve deep into yourself and truly figure out who you are and why? The “why” is always important. Don’t skip the “why.”

As a child, I was introduced to happiness before pain but, pain came early on in life – too early. Once pain was introduced, happiness seemed further and further away. I had happy moments but, I was never happy from a 360 perspective, to be honest, I’m still not. I’m still searching. I’m still learning. I’m still crying. I’m still second guessing. I’m still figuring it all out and that’s okay but, I’m fully cognizant of the fact that happiness is not in my circumstances, it’s in me. Do you accept that truth?

Stop looking for your dysfunctional family to make you happy. Stop looking for happiness in your relationships alone.  Stop saying, “I’ll be so much happier when this or that happens.” It’s not about happenings, it’s about you. You choose rather to be happy, miserable, sad, excited, defeated – you choose. 

Life is one big a** series of choices. 

Choose wisely. 


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