Judge Faith Jenkins truly speaks to my soul and I’m extremely excited to read her new book Sis Don’t Settle. (I’ll be picking up a copy tomorrow). During her Breakfast Club interview she touched on various relevant points regarding relationships but those that stood out to me the most were the following:
1. Stop making rejection so personal.
Don’t always internalize rejection. It’s not always about you! Be sure to accept that rejection is inevitable and that it builds character. Don’t run from it and don’t over analyze it. You can spend years mourning a rejection that had nothing to do with you. Taking things too personal can be detrimental, try to break away from this.
2. Radical acceptance.
Accept people as they are not as you’d like them to be. Potential cannot be cashed in at the bank. It’s not tangible, what’s real is what’s in front of you – pay attention to that instead.
3. People should add to your happiness not be the sole cause of it.
If you’re looking for someone else to make you happy – stop! You need to make you happy. If you’re not happy alone please don’t think that you’ll be happy in the company of others. Happiness is a personal journey, a singular sport. Read my article on never placing the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket here.
4. You are not in a state of lack; you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Embrace being single versus defending it. Tell people to stop asking you about your relationships or when you’re going to have children etc. Those comments and questions aren’t helpful and 89% of the time they are not coming from a good place – you don’t need that kind of energy in your life. Your time will come when it comes and when it does, it will be right on time.
5. “You cannot be a cynic about love and expect to attract it in your life at the same time.” – Judge Faith Jenkins
It’s okay to admit that you want love, that you desire it, that you crave it. If your daily conversations involve statements like, ”I’ll be single forever. All men and women are dogs. Nobody wants me, etc.” You are inviting in a huge wave of negativity and for what? Speak positivity over your dating life, over your relationships, over your marriage. It’s hard to receive what you don’t believe is possible – remember that.
6. Identify your red flags. Red means stop!
This one goes without saying but, a good a bit of us ignore red flags or pretend to be color blind. Stop that! Know what is a no-no for you and don’t budge on it. If someone checks 14 out of 15 of your red flags, don’t give them another chance – the bad outweighs the good and that math will never add up.
All in all, this interview is a must watch and her book is a must read, I’m sure of it! Indulge above.
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