R.I.P to the ”Ride or Dies”

We have rode and died, rode and died. We are all out of lives, huh? Who can relate?

You know what, truth is, I don’t want to be a “ride or die” – I want to be a “travel and thrive” or a “vacay and vibe” – something! In all seriousness, there’s an immense amount of pain, trauma and negativity attached to being a “ride or die” – let’s just focus on being good people. It seems simple but, are you a good person?

Being a ”ride or die“ is typically tied to this hell or high water, by-any-means-necessary, no-matter-the-cost, I’ll-be-there-through-whatever kind of loyalty and that’s not always wise. Holding your man down during a self-induced prison stint or forgiving your woman when she cheats etc. is not being a “ride or die” – it’s the epitome of being naive in the name of believing that this is what it means to be loyal, thorough, dedicated etc. (And yes, the time in prison does matter, you could wait six months but, you might not want to wait 10 years – that’s up to you.) Moving on, the goal should be fostering healthy relationships. Yes, life will happen, mistakes will be made, feelings will be hurt on occasion but this blanketed ideology of simply “riding” with somebody through thick or thin – prior to marriage in most cases, seems rather asinine to me.

Set some boundaries; without any boundaries you’ll become this coveted ”ride or die” but at what cost?

Will it cost you your peace, your sanity, your mind, your wealth, your time? There needs to be a limit to what you are willing to do. Don’t be unapologetically loyal because you might be frowned upon otherwise. For example, if your significant other has cheated on you for the fifth time but, they say that’s the last time – you’re not being a “ride or die” by staying with them through that disrespect. If you wouldn’t do it, then don’t condone them doing it to you. Forgive them for yourself but don’t stay out of a desire for this ”life or death” commitment that you’re not receiving in the first place.

However, if your significant other falls on tough times financially or slips into depression after losing a loved one etc. be there for them but, if they begin to surpass your set boundaries with their needs – let them go – get off the ride. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. In most cases, you are dedicating all this time to temporary situations. You don’t have to be a ”ride or die” but if that’s your goal – so be it. I will be a devoted, faithful, dependable and positive lover, friend etc. but not at the expense of my own happiness. I will not be a “ride or die.” However, I will be a voice of reason, a beacon of positive light, a prayer warrior for you but, I will not be blindly loyal to you in the name of a title I don’t desire – just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen, just my thoughts.


If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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