One more time for those in the back.
Stop accepting more when you come with less.
It’s imperative to date within your balance. You have a job, they have a job or business etc. You have a car, they have a car. You workout, they workout. You don’t have kids, they don’t have kids (optional). You have your own place, they have their own place. You pray, they pray (in my opinion, this one is not optional but, to each their own).
Don’t take on a woman with four kids and three baby daddies, if you don’t come with that same load. Am I saying that people without children shouldn’t date people with children – no – but, do note that they have a responsibility that trumps you every time and that’s okay but, it’s something to be aware of. Truth is, you don’t come with that responsibility so you don’t have to take it on – that’s up to you.
But, let’s dig deeper, let’s say you have trauma and so do they. However, you’ve recovered from your pain but theirs still rushes up like vomit? Can that become a problem? Yes, it can. I’d rather date someone when they’re in a good space emotionally than to deal with the remnants of the past, especially early on. If we’ve been together for some time and you’re going through a rough patch, that’s different but to kick it off by picking up the pieces of the shattered remains from the one before me, that’s not appealing and I don’t have to accept that.
When you accept more knowing that you come with less, you’re essentially offering to carry their bags to the car because their hands are already full.
Your hands were empty though and if their hands were too – that’s limitless potential right there.
Baggage doesn’t just come in the form of children or exes but in careers, family, friends, habits etc. Don’t take on responsibilities that add weight to you, to your life, to your day, to your spirit, just to say that you have somebody. Love yourself enough to look for balance over beauty, peace over chaos, respect over indifference and self-love over validation.
You got this!
If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary, please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
THE IKON. 