Stop Dating People That Only Like the “Idea” of You

One more time for those in the back.

Stop dating people that only like the idea of you.

You’re attractive, stunning in the light, hardworking, intelligent, relentlessly passionate, funny and formidable. You possess the ideal character and physical traits of the highly sought after but most people only like the idea of you and resent the actual work, patience and effort it would take to have you, let alone keep you.

Men and women alike, love my ambition, my unabated dedication to my body, my candid nature and care-free mentality but what lies on the other side of those rather commonplace attributes is deep-rooted pain, abandonment issues, occasional fear and pending recovery. Yes, I am a work in progress not a completed masterpiece but maybe my exterior favors the latter.

Either way, I know that I require time and good intentions – I’m sure you do as well.

That said, stop dating and getting into relationships with people who only like the idea of you. Yes, you might look cute on their arm or on a baecation with them but, if you’re looking for longevity over momentary bliss, you’ll want to date people that love the whole package and not just the finished results. We live in the insta-generation but solid relationships are built over time not over night. Don’t let these #RelationshipGoals distort your perception of reality.

Here are a couple of red flags that let you know when someone only likes the idea of you:

  1. They hear you but they are not listening. (Read that again.)
  2. They compliment your exterior constantly but rarely compliment your interior. That inner work will shine through to the outside and someone who is paying attention will notice.
  3. They are not invested in your passions or goals and have zero intentions on helping you reach either.
  4. They are sexually motivated. People that only want to sleep with you, do not want to build with you. (Read that again.)

You deserve someone who wants all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly; keep looking until you find them and don’t settle in the interim.


If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary, please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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