Letting go can be a beautiful feeling, a weight lifted, eyes opened, wounds healed but prior to those rather euphoric feelings are those that lie on the opposite side of that spectrum, feelings of pain, heartache, depression and confusion – to name a few.
We subsist in a generation that appears to have mastered the art of detachment and sometimes I wish I had that “on-off-switch” effect but I don’t because my feelings, the way I love, my caring nature and my authenticity are valued parts of who I am – I wouldn’t change them for the world. One day, the very things that others ignored about you, someone else will cherish.
Let’s be honest, if you’re letting go of something or someone, it’s because they no longer serve you but at a point in time, they did, or at least so you believed. Letting go is a mental exercise best practiced with the aid of others, your God, your friends, your family but doing it alone can be therapeutic as well. However, be sure not to barricade yourself into a dark place, one where you talk negatively to yourself, where you feel hopeless and less-than – you are not. You are abundant and capable but there will be trials and tribulations.
There’s a wise quote, “It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”
Warriors gain their strength from their hardships. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the pain, the suffering, the anger, the discomfort, the lies and the truths. I used to envy those who grew up fortunate, gardeners, if you will, but my God makes no mistakes and I was certainly fortunate in my own right. However, we are not born into the world knowing how to cope with disappointment, loss, heartbreak and failure.
Letting go can take you through several emotions but in the end, it’s typically for the best. There are a few hardships that I believe come with letting go; let’s talk about it.
- Regrets. I don’t have any regrets. Would you like to know why? It’s because I can’t go back in time. Anything I’ve done in life, I meant to do it, at that time, at that moment, so regretting it seems rather redundant. Stop regretting the choices you’ve made – learn from them. The only true loss is not learning and repeating the same cycle over and over and over. Your Mom keeps telling you the stove is hot and you keep touching it, one day you won’t touch it anymore because you’ll remember the pain and the healing of the burns. But those previous burns aren’t wasted time, you needed those. Don’t regret your choices just try to make better ones. Don’t ignore the red flags that came with those old burns!
- Good memories. The good times make letting go difficult. But remember, at some point, the bad times began to outweigh the good. However, people that can make you smile, leave a deep-rooted imprint on your spirit, on your mental and on your expectations. You don’t have to forget the good times but you must acknowledge that eventually they were few and far between. You deserve consistency with your joy, not little spurts of happiness here and there.
- Withdrawal. This one hits the hardness. You begin to miss this person or thing so intensely that it hurts, it permeates your thoughts and feelings, it dictates your mood. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb, you fight not to call or text them or look at their social media accounts, you toss and turn in your sleep trying to shake that feeling of loss and the realization that they’re gone. In the midst of what seems like the darkest hour, remember that you’re making the right choice in releasing yourself from an entity that no longer serves you, no longer makes you smile, no longer brings you peace. Never compromise peace for attachment.
One more time for those in the back.
Never compromise peace for attachment.
- Recovery. Recovery is a good thing but it also signifies loss. You’ve recovered but sometimes you still feel as if you lost, you lost time, you lost opportunity, you lost weight, you gained weight, you lost yourself but now you can rebuild on a stronger more solid mental, emotional and spiritual foundation. You won and you’re still standing. You’ll fight again but the next time you’ll be better equipped for war because you are no longer a gardener, a novice, a fantasist but a soldier.
You got this!
Ps. It’s really your mind that’s at war. A good book to read to help cope with loss, recovery, letting go, pain etc. is The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. It’s a great book for life in general – a must read! You can purchase it here; thank me later!
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