Stop Re-friending People!

Some people have a tendency to be more forgiving of one sub-set of relationships than others. For example, you may have an ex-boyfriend that you’d never let breathe the same air as you again but, you’ll keep being friends with a leech. You’ll keep entertaining that toxic cousin and you won’t set boundaries for your parents etc. Why are you incapable of gifting your “friends” that same no-re-entry clause you gave your ex? Cut them off too and truth is, if they need to be cut off they slipped out of “friend” status long ago but, you keep forgiving them or you give them space and hit them up in a few months. Why? Why don’t you hold your friends to the same standard as you do your lovers?

One more time for those in the back.

Why don’t you hold your friends to the same standard as you do your lovers?

If your significant other is required to check on you, remember your birthday, be thoughtful and considerate, ask about your hopes and dreams and fund them as well, in some cases – why are your friends not required to do the same? You call some people “friends” but they don’t even call you to see how you’re doing? That’s an acquaintance, at best, but it’s certainly not a friend. 

Friends, you can cry with, pray with, get money with, party with, be unapologetically open with and they are considerate and celebratory as well. Friends are dependable, loyal, forgiving and intentional about their relationship with you. What purpose do most of your “friends” serve? Let me guess, you can party with them but they don’t support your business or mention your name proudly in rooms of important people when you’re not present.

Do your friends elevate you? Do they keep you inspired, in shape, in focus? As you get older, it would behoove you to befriend people that can better you in some way and you should be able to bring forth that same beneficial energy. Would you date a man that is not reliable, that is needy, problematic, dishonest, inconsiderate and spiritually a mess – no – so stop entertaining friends with those same characteristics.  

Yes, your friends should gift you things randomly and call you to see how your day is going. Yes, you should take trips with your friends and treat your friends to dinner. You should pray for and with your friends. That said, if you let a friend go, leave them where you left them. 

One more time for those in the back.

If you let a friend go, leave them where you left them. 

Don’t loop back around to pick them up. Stop re-friending people that you intentionally let go of and with good reason. When you pick them back up they’ll be standing on the same street that you left them on, just a new day. Trust your instincts and remember why you left them alone in the first place. We’re adults now, don’t feel bad about leaving them in the sandbox – you’ve outgrown it. 

Don’t feel guilty for releasing them back into the wild. Be intentional about who you let into your life and who you’ve kept thus far. Is it time for some friend-detoxing? You owe it to yourself – do it, now and don’t revisit them later.

You got this. 

If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary, please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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