We tend to lean towards what’s familiar. We like familiar smells, familiar tasks, familiar jobs and yes, we also like familiar people. Sometimes out of a fear of starting over, we will double-back to people we left alone for a reason, a damn good one – typically. Why? Because familiar is easier, less unknowns, less start-up time but it may end in the same way it did before – with you both parting ways.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and then expecting different results.

So, if you keep dating the same people over and over again and expecting different results, what does that make you? You guessed it, insane, maybe not clinically but in general.

That said, sometimes people double-back and it works out, they get married, have kids, start a life together and that’s great but, in my experience, everyone I left alone and went back to was a mistake on my part. I thought they had changed or that they would appreciate me more the second, third or fourth time around and I was wrong; women can be wrong, often we are – a lot. However, what I’ve learned from my wrongdoings lies in my current inability to be re-accessed. Once your access is denied the first time, it’s denied forever. It sounds a bit cruel, I know but trust me, it’s the best decision. Ask yourself this, “Do your reasons for leaving someone alone violate your non-negotiable’s?

One more time for those in the back.

Ask yourself this, “Do your reasons for leaving someone alone violate your non-negotiable’s?

For example, if one of your non-negotiable’s is cheating and your ex cheated on you, if you take him or her back after they violated something that you deemed was non-negotiable and grounds for immediate dismissal, what do you believe that makes them think of you? If you can be swayed on what you said couldn’t sway you, then you are not a person of your word. Stick to your guns and keep em’ loaded. Stop letting people play with you and stop running back out of comfort and familiarity.

If you’re unwilling to settle, you will be willing to start over.

You got this!

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