To be happy, what a chore it once was. I thought happiness was linked to a healthy family, money, vacations, a good job, kids, the perfect house, a nice car etc. but it’s not. Materialisms gift moments of happiness but not true internal joy. Being happy is merely a decision. Each day you can choose to be miserable or to be happy – simple, but here are 10 things I wish I knew about happiness when I was simply incapable of finding anything to be happy about.

1. Your happiness is in you not in other people.
2. You can’t be genuinely happy for others when you are not happy.
3. You can’t please everyone and if your happiness is linked to pleasing others – you’ll always be miserable.
4. Happiness is deeper than an outward smile, it’s an internal beam and it can only shine its brightest when you don’t have dark influences fighting for that spot as well.
5. Healing and happiness, go hand and hand, get you some – go to therapy, join a support group, pray more – something! Do the inner work.
6. Know who you are, when you know that, you’ll know what makes you happy.
7. If you grew up unhappy, you will have to unlearn that behavior, divorce yourself from it. You can be happy but not if you keep looking behind you – look ahead, break generational curses.
8. Get out of your own way. Stop speaking negatively over your life and expecting positive results. The tongue can be a weapon or a refuge – make a choice.
9. Stop hanging around miserable people. If you hang around nine unhappy individuals, you’ll be the 10th and most of you probably don’t think you hang around people like that because you have normalized negative demeanors so much so that you barely recognize them – unlearn that, pray on that.
10. Abandon situational happiness. This is the type of happiness that depends on a certain annual income, a certain relationship, a certain location, a certain car, a certain body etc. Aht! Aht! Learn how to find joy in any situation you find yourself in. For example, instead of saying, “My check was short,” replace that with, “It’s better than no check at all and I am grateful for this increase.” Be kind to yourself and shift your perspective.

I spent 80% of my twenties being miserable but I’m done with that. I deserve happiness. I am happiness. Everyday won’t be full of sunshine and rainbows but on those cloudier days, allow yourself to be unhappy for a brief moment in that day and then take your power back, shift your attitude. I encourage meditation and the inclusion of healthy outlets rather that be the gym, reading, shopping, pampering yourself etc. whatever you need to do to change that mood – do it! You don’t know your expiration date so live each day as if tomorrow isn’t promised because it’s not.

You got this!

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