You need to set some boundaries.
A life without boundaries = open season on your a**!
When you avoid setting boundaries, you are only encouraging disrespect and a lot of stress. Stress is the number one killer and in most cases, its avoidable. Letting people use you as a doormat to a home you’re not even welcome in is pure blasphemy.
One more time for those in the back.
Letting people use you as a doormat to a home you’re not even welcome in is pure blasphemy.
The people testing and bulldozing over your boundaries are the same ones that have strict boundaries for you. It’s imperative that you demand respect and reciprocity in your relationships but I won’t pretend that setting boundaries is an easy task – because it’s not. Especially when it involves family but, you need to set boundaries in all sectors of your life from work to personal relationships.
Eventually, you will explode. You will snap. You will curse someone out unexpectedly. You will disappear for six months and isolate yourself etc. You will reach your tipping point and by that time it’s too late to prevent that undoing. However, as you allow yourself to become undone now you get to put yourself back together and when you do, you better set some boundaries. Here are a few of mine:
- I communicate at the frequency that I choose. I do not have to respond to anyone immediately. I will call or text or email you back, when and only when, it is convenient for me.
- I don’t do what I don’t want to do – simple. If I don’t want to go to that event – I’m not going. If I don’t want to talk – I’m not talking, etc.
- Your access to me is dependent upon your value. If I don’t believe that our relationship, personal or otherwise, holds value, I will limit or terminate your access to me.
- You cannot show up to my home unexpectedly.
- Age and our relationship does not permit disrespect. I don’t care if we are family or not, I don’t care if you are old, I will not tolerate disrespect – period.
These are just a few of my boundaries. You don’t have to agree with them or implement them but set ones in accordance with what you can and cannot handle.
Start today. You got this!
Ps. Here’s a great book to read on setting boundaries: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
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