Are you attentive?
Do you truly pay attention to people, their actions, their words, their intentions, their mannerisms, or lack there of? I believe that if you pay close enough attention to a person, during the dating phase, you only need one week to determine if this person would be a good fit for you. Yes, seven days. I know what you’re thinking, “How can I know all I need to know about a person in just one week,” by being attentive and by asking the right questions.
There are five categories of questions you should touch on during week one:
- Communicative Style – It would behoove you to pay attention to how they communicate. Do they take hours to text you back (without any significant reason as to why)? Do they only text and never call? Do you always initiate contact? Is the conversation stimulating etc. Communication is imperative to the success of a relationship, without it, it crumbles. Now, it can be worked on, but remember, somebody who likes you wants to talk to you, you won’t need to force them.
- Intentions – Don’t be afraid to ask people what their intentions are for you from the very beginning. I’m not talking about marriage. I’m referring to them looking for something serious or just looking for someone to hook-up and “Neflix-and-Chill” with. This can be revealed by just out right asking them or through their conversation. Pay attention.
- Dates – Are you going on dates or has one been planned? If so, where are you going? There’s nothing wrong with Applebee’s but lets be honest, it’s not the most thoughtful date, it’s a place of convenience. Do you want someone who picks restaurants at random or through thought and consideration per conversions they had with you? The choice is yours – there’s no wrong answer.
- Kids – How many? It’s that simple. Children are an important component to consider. And people that lie about having kids or about how many kids they have – red flag on the play! Run – quickly!
- Faith – Don’t be scary. Someone should not be offended by you asking them about their religious or spiritual beliefs. I personally could not date an atheist or someone who worships a different God than I do. That is my preference, it doesn’t have to be yours but asking about it doesn’t hurt, it gifts you necessary information.
So, why should you ask questions pertaining to the above categories? If it isn’t already apparent, these are important questions to ask, furthermore, I personally have noticed that every dating-ship that hasn’t worked out in my favor was due to something I noticed in the first week or two of talking to them. Rather that be poor communication or a lack of intention, had I had asked some of these questions in the beginning, I could’ve saved myself loads of time.
We are getting too old to be played with. In week one, you barely know them and it’s easy to detach versus you waiting six months just to ask him, “Well, what are we?” Aht! Aht! And if they answer the questions accordingly, good luck on what could be an abundant and fruitful relationship.
You got this! It’s 2023. It’s our Jordan year! Set the standard and pay attention!
If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary, please share and repost – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.
THE IKON. 