You Can’t Change People

One more time for those in the back.

You can’t change people.

People change, when and if they want to. They won’t change for you or your kids or your relationship or because you keep whining about it. None of that really matters. That said, do I believe that people have influence over others – yes, I do, but I don’t believe that people change per request.

For instance, let’s say that you have a crackhead for a mother. I know that seems a bit extreme but I’m using crackheads as an example because most of the people that we want to change have an addiction to something or someone that’s causing them to make decisions that we don’t agree with. Right? Okay.

You can beg and plead with your mother to stop doing crack and you believe that because you are her child that you hold enough influence to change her decisions but you don’t. Because her addiction is bigger than you, it’s above you but it’s not because of you.

One more time for those in the back.

Her addiction is bigger than you, it’s above you but it’s not because of you.

Watching people that you care about deteriorate due to their own decisions, causes you to want them to change, but it will not make them change. Most of my 20’s was spent rather miserable because I wanted people that I cared about to change and I was upset when they didn’t. Here’s the truth, the only change that we have control of is our own. You will be with you for the rest of your life. People will come and go. Family will always be there but you don’t have to tolerate them if their decisions negatively affect your state of mind.

I may not be able to change you, but I also don’t have to deal with you if your decisions and your mentality are hindering me. Take a break from people that don’t benefit you, I don’t care who it is – it’s not about them, it’s about you.

Repeat after me, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…”

Now, keep it pushing. You got this!

If you found this article helpful, insightful or just plain old necessary, please share this with someone – it’s free and I’d gladly appreciate it. Thank you in advance.

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